Personal Wisdom

Wisdom is one of those things that you are supposed to gain as your experiences, age, and knowledge increase. Just because one is old however, does not always mean that they have a great deal of wisdom. The opposite is also true, just because a person is young does not necessarily mean that they have little wisdom to share. That's where I come in. While I am fairly young, I have had enough experiences (both good and bad) to gain a fair amount of wisdom, more so than my peers in my humble opinion. You won't find any quotes from Sun Tzu, Hobbes, Cicero, or the like on this page, just my own observations.

Love - It's fairly appropriate that "love" is the first topic in this section as it seems to rule so much of our lives. For those of you that were wondering, the background of this page is the Japanese Kanji symbol for love. There are lots of different kinds of love in the world, love for parents, children, wife, husband and even the less desirable kinds like love of money or power. The common link to all kinds of love is whether or not you can imagine yourself without that which you love most. If that thought makes you feel incomplete then chances are you're in love. It is also possible to fall in love more than once. Some people believe that you can only truly be in love once in your life, but I don't. I've been in love several times, three to be exact, and each one was as real as it gets. Sometimes however, love gets to be a problem. Being in love with a man (playing the odds on this one, it's usually men) that is abusive is most definitely not a good thing. I'm not going to fake understanding of this point, I have no idea how someone can love a person that is physically or emotionally abusive, but it does happen. To end this section with a favorite saying of mine...a man that fears nothing, loves nothing. Pretty self explanatory I think.

Friendship - You can probably live your live without love, but without friends...I don't know how. Friends are those people that are there for you when you need them. The ones that know when something's wrong without you saying a thing. The ones that call you for no reason but to hear your voice. Most importantly, friends are the people that stand by you when you do something really stupid, even when you do it to them. Friendship only goes so far however. If you choose to spend a lot of time with your friends when you're single, then suddenly turn your back on them when you are in a relationship, don't expect them to be there for you. Everyone is entitled to make that mistake once, but beyond that you aren't much of a friend, and even less of a person.

Death - We all have to deal with death at various points in our lives, and we all deal with it differently. Without a doubt, the hardest kind of death to deal with is the death of your own child, a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. At the other end of the spectrum is the death of a grandparent or other elder relative. You still cry, mourn, and feel the loss but somehow it's a little easier to accept, most likely because you know that person led a long life. Getting a little philosophical, a person is never really dead as long as someone keeps the memory of them alive. It always makes me feel better when I can say "Do you remember when grandma..." or " Remember how grandpa used to..."

Religion - Personally, I dislike religion, but I do recognize that it has a place in the world. It gives a person something greater than themselves to believe in, something to turn to when nothing else seems to be going their way. The problem I have with it is that most people I know that are regular church-goers or have a good church background have far less morals than I do. If religion is supposed to teach you morals, then why do I know and hear about so many people being unfaithful to one another? Lastly, if you were to ask any devout member of any religion why his/her religion is "right" you'd probably get a lesson in the fundamentals of that faith. That's the major problem with religion, no faith is "right." No faith is "wrong" either but the fact that someone can't even admit that their religion may not be entirely right shows their ignorance.

Perfection - It is often said that no one is perfect, and I wholeheartedly agree with that in part. We all make mistakes, some more than others, and therefore we cannot be perfect. I do feel that we can be perfect in at least one way though, we can be the perfect match for someone. It doesn't seem to happen that often anymore, but every once in a while you'll find someone that is a perfect match for your personality. No matter what they say or do, or no matter how badly you seem to mess things up, things between the two of you always work out for the better. I'm not saying that you're meant to fall in love, simply that your personalities match perfectly. I have found this perfection twice in my life. Neither have turned out quite as I had hoped, but that does not make things any less perfect. One final thought, searching for this kind of perfection is self-defeating, you have to just relax and wait. One day you'll suddenly realize that someone you know is simply perfect.

Faithfulness - This is perhaps the most important thing to me in any relationship. It is so easy to be faithful to your partner that I don't understand why so many people have such a hard time with it. If you happen to find someone other than your partner that you'd rather be with, all you have to do is tell them it's over. How you do it doesn't matter, but not doing it and being unfaithful is the act of an absolute coward. I've always lived by the saying "unfaithful once, unfaithful forever."

Cheating - This one isn't really a piece of wisdom, more of my wide view of the subject. I don't like people that cheat on their significant others, I have little respect for them and will inform their boyfriend/girlfriend of their cheating ways as soon as possible. Friends or enemies, if you cheat, expect to be called on it. Oh, and I have a very wide view of what "cheating" is. Put it this way, if you choose to sleep in the same bed with someone other than your boyfriend/girlfriend when you could be sleeping in your own bed, you're cheating. There are some exceptions to what I consider cheating, but they are few and far between. If you're wondering what right I have to tell someone that their boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on them when it is none of my business, my answer is simple: it's the same right by which you betray their trust.

Lying - Let's face it, everyone lies now and then. Personally, I only lie to my parents, and that's because it's my job, I have to keep them on their toes don't I? Sometimes lying can be a noble act, trying to protect someone from a truth too painful to hear at that moment for example. That kind of lie is okay so long as the person is eventually told the truth and they did not ask for the truth, regardless of the pain, in the first place. Lies to conceal a crime, unfaithful behavior, to save face, or the like can never be noble and are signs of cowardice.

Dreams/Nightmares - So many things have been said and written about dreams. Do they mean anything? Do they hint at problems before you are consciously aware of them? Are they simply fantasy? Personally, I know that dreams mean something. My dreams never let me forget some events, and suggest courses of action for events yet to come. Every now and then I'll have a "deja vu" dream, of course I don't know it at the time. I'll dream of something minor, sitting in class, talking to someone at a specific place, seeing something at a certain time, and days or weeks later it will happen and I realize that I drempt about it. Basically you should pay attention to your dreams because they do sometimes tell you things.

Dreams - This kind of dream is different from the kind you have at night. This kind of dream is the one you have about your life long goals. It is good to have dreams, something to strive for, even if the dream occasionally seems out of reach. Sometimes your dreams are the only things keeping you going. Whether they be about money, success, love, or happiness, dreams should only rarely be given up on. When a dream becomes an obsession, or is simply impossible to obtain, it should be abandoned. What "impossible" means is subjective. Forcing someone to fall in love with you is what I consider to be "impossible."

Beauty - Much of the world has a problem with what is truly considered "beauty." Far too many people think that the more physically attractive a person is, the more "beautiful" they are. Well, those people are all fairly stupid. True beauty is a composite of several things, none of which has anything to do with physical attractiveness. It's the amount of kindness, compassion and caring that's in your heart. It's how you treat others and what you'd sacrifice for them. Yes, there are people out there that are "beautiful" and physically attractive at the same time, I know a couple of them, but there aren't that many. If we were all blind then we'd all be able to see the true beauty in people.

Betrayal - Unfortunately, at some time in our lives we must all deal with betrayal on one level or another. Betrayal is usually a combination of other things on this page such as lying, friendship, love, cheating, etc. The easiest to deal with I think is betrayal by a co-worker. The hardest is obviously to be betrayed by a family member or significant other. Co-workers (at least those that are not friends) should almost be counted on to betray you at some point... that is the nature of business. Friends, family, and loved ones on the other hand should be counted on not to betray you. Recovering from this type of injury is not easy either because in a lot of cases it makes you question the loyalty of others, wondering if they're next to stab you in the back. There are of course instances where betrayal is actually just someone "doing the right thing" but those cases are usually very obvious like if you were covering up a crime or had been unfaithful to your significant other.

Work - If you know me well enough then you know that I like to work. Even when I was working on a job that I didn't really want I was still fairly happy to go into work every day. While I realize that not everyone has a job they like, work is still important and everyone should do the job they are being paid to do. Besides the obvious monetary rewards, work is rewarding in building friendships and hopefully getting exposed to new things. Personally, I'm happiest when I'm at work. Even when things are stressful and not going well I'd still rather be nowhere else. Of course I'm not discounting those people that work at/from home such as stay-at-home moms and dads. They probably have the hardest jobs and I'm sure they'd like to get a paycheck to show for it. It doesn't matter what you do so long as you do something and hopefully take pride in it.

Revenge - We've all heard they saying "revenge is a dish best served cold." To me, that is a very true statement but not for the obvious reason. Taking your time to plan a good revenge also gives you time to think if it is really worth it... to blow off some steam and decide if you really want to be that kind of person. I don't think I could ever take revenge against anyone that I once cared about... mostly because I have never been able to stop caring about anyone that I once cared for. Of course if you hurt someone that I care about, that's a whole different story and I would hope that would be anyone's initial reaction. But, depending on what happened, that's where the "best served cold" thing comes into play. Getting revenge on someone you work with is a lot easier and quite possibly more rewarding since revenge would most likely involve getting them fired... which would solve two problems at once. No matter what the reason though, time should always be taken to consider all the consequences of your actions.