This is a side of me that just about no one knows about, partly because I don't want to hear criticisms or suggestions about what I write, but mostly because it doesn't help the image problem I have.
I did not write most of these poems, but there are a couple of mine in here, written "anonymously" or by an "unknown" author. I'll write a poem only once in a great while, and usually for some reason. If I wrote one for someone specific then their name usually appears somewhere in it. Yes, it's kind of cheesy, but it's how I personalize it.
My Final Wish
A flame so bright a flame so cold
I think about my final wish to which I am about to unfold
Something so beautiful like angels from above
I wish for something that I could love.
I want something that will listen to my dreams and my fears,
something that will hold me tight and wipe away my tears.
I wish this something could make me smile and never gloom,
to be with me forever as we lie beneath the stars and the moon.
As I blow out the candle to make my final wish and hope that it will come true,
I hope you realize that all this time I have been wishing I had you.
I have so much inside me
so much I want to give
I know if I don't give it
I won't be able to live
I have a longing for love
and a desire for touch
I just want your heart
I'm not asking that much
In return I'll give you love
like you have never known
I'll show you places
no one has ever been shown
I just need to love you
and I need to love you
so I'll promise you forever
if you promise me too
If This is All I Have
In sleep I find you,
in waking you are gone.
In my dreams
you are locked.
Don't let me wake
and find my dream
Let me sleep
I can't take the pain
of losing you.
- James Mutton
"We should go out some time."
"I'll call you when I get home from work."
"We'll do something this weekend."
"I'll call you when I get back."
"I don't care about what people look like."
"I'll always be honest with you."
"You're such a nice person."
"You've such a good friend."
"You'll find someone, someday."
"You shouldn't listen to those voices."
The Time of Troubles
Throughout our lives
we have highs and lows
Times when things are perfect
and times full of woe
If the Fates are with us
the bad times are brief
Only a week or so
living with your grief
The Time of Troubles begins
without notice or warning
You simply wake up feeling
like its any other morning
All too soon
life begins to come apart
Your joy disappears
when your Love breaks your heart
That was the beginning
of The Time of Troubles
And now comes the middle
when your sorrow is double
Years have past since
the joy left your life
Years enough that some friends
are now husband and wife
More than once over the years
you have found some new hope
Someone special enough that
you don't feel like a joke
But time and again
your hope fades away
The reasons are many
that today is not your day
Maybe you weren't rich enough
and didn't have a nice car
Or perhaps it was your face
that wasn't up to par
You know you have other strengths
like a heart made of gold
You just hope it finds its mate
before it grows too old
Whatever the reasons
I know the dice are cast
At the end of The Time of Troubles
I'll have my happiness at last
Every little thing reminds me of you
a song, a phrase, a word or two
the pain fills me up deeply within
and the tears come rushing out and I can't hold them in
My nights are restless, my hours of sleep are few
because my bed's filled with emptiness and not you
My days consist of endless tears
I wish you were here to calm my fears
But I allowed this to happen, only to me
I pretended everything was fine and acted too blind to see
That you and I were an impossible thing
No matter how hard we tried, we'd always have an ending
And one of us would get hurt, most likely me
Because I fell too hard for something that could never be
I'm sorry I let myself come this far
because now I've fallen too much, too hard
Although I can say that I can never forget
Will you be the one who holds the regret?
This hurts too much for me to let go
So I have to take it nice and slow
And maybe someday after our separate lifes are lived
The two who are meant for each other will then be able to give
The love they have for only each other
And the tears will no longer fall, on that day or another.
A Friendly Smile
Everything's gone wrong today.
No one reacts to anything you say.
No matter how much you scream and cry,
The world seems to be passing you by.
No one seems to notice or care,
That you're trying to be heard over your despair.
But on one face a smile shines through,
A smile that knows and cares about you.
A smile with love to lend
On a face you recognize as a friend.
- Courtney Trevino
Things aren't really as bad as they seem,
Listen to me, I'm your self-esteem.
You're not really ugly, and you're not overweight.
Think of your good points,
Your complexion is great!
You have a great sense of humor,
and are as smart as can be.
Who cares if you don't wear a perfect size three?
You are thoughtful and caring--
your actions will show
The heart full of love, that I already know.
Don't listen to those who throw insults your way.
Just smile and nod, and think of this day.
I'm saying it now, and I'll say it again.
How you look doesn't matter,
true beauty lies within!
- Leslie Drymon
Have You Ever
Have you ever felt alone in life,
Felt no one cared for you?
Or been out with a group of friends,
And felt alone then too?
Have you ever had a broken heart,
You felt couldn't be repaired?
Or tried to touch somebody with your words,
But knew nobody cared?
Have you ever needed good advice,
But were too afraid to call?
Or felt separated from the world,
Surrounded by a brick wall?
Have you ever been asked about your future,
And said you couldn't care less?
Or tried to pick up the pieces but,
They make just one giant mess?
Have you ever felt so confused,
That you couldn't even cry?
Or ever felt so damn depressed,
That you just wanted to die?
Have you ever been at the lowest of lows,
When you want to quit the fight?
And suddenly you found perfection,
The one that makes things right?
Have you ever been so lost,
In two eyes that blue?
Or been captured by her laugh,
That makes your heart beat true?
Have you ever met another,
Even throughout your years?
An angel from your dreams,
That will kiss away your tears.
Have I ever found her you wonder,
Emphatically I'll say true!
Remember this my friend,
My joy I owe to you.
The Misery of Me
For now I watch from a distance,
Wanting so much to be a part
Of the dream I see every day
that's tearing me apart.
For some reason,
I can't let you go.
I wait in silence,
so much wanting you to know.
My emotions are crushed daily,
as I fail to realize my dream
of you and I together,
people seeing us as a team.
But for now, I stand on the sidelines,
not able to play my own game,
and wishing over and over for you,
with only myself to blame.
I'd Much Rather Be
I'd much rather use the light of the sun
than the light of a lamp
I'd much rather drink from a flowing stream
than from a kitchen faucet
I'd much rather listen to the sound of birds chirping
than a blasting stereo
I'd much rather be poor and happy
than rich and sad
I'd much rather be me
than somebody they all want me to be
I'd much rather be your love
than you friend...
I'd much rather be your friend
than your nobody
I'd much rather be with you right now
than writing this poem
Like a needle in a haystack
true friends are hard to find
That's why I am so thankful
that I can call you mine
Whenever I need a shoulder
you're there to catch my tears
You've kept my many secrets
throughout the passing years
You've been there through my triumphs
You've witnessed my defeats
I'll remember the good times
and pray the bad one's don't repeat
With you my heart is honest
but there's only one thing I never told you
Thank you for everything you've done--
there's no one else like you